Middle– and upper-class women have a set list of priorities in life – first career, then a house, then some more career and in the end, the easy part – having children (after getting married, of course).
Poor women don’t do it that way – why? This is what this book is trying to answer – “why poor women put motherhood before marriage” and I would add, before having a career of their own (not a Walmart job).
There were many times when I was disgusted (!) – or felt outright pity – when a teenager would choose a pregnancy over an abortion, thinking that she ruined her life this way – nowadays, although I don’t view such early pregnancies with better eyes, I do understand many of the options (or lack of them) such poor environments bring on these women.
Most such women won’t hold prestigious jobs during their lifetime anyway – whether they postpone pregnancies or not – nor would they easily get married, as most men in such communities are not “marriageable” (standards have raised in this regard too). By choosing to take a pregnancy to its term, they don’t have that many things to lose as an educated woman of their age. The emotional poverty of such girls could easily lead them to view having children of their own as providing meaning in their life – and as a whole, poor communities do value children a lot more because they don’t have much to accomplish during their lifetime. Their educated lack of trust makes them rather forego marriage than motherhood – this does not mean they value it any less than wealthier women – it’s how they adapt to their violent environment.
Taking on the meaning of marriage, good mothering and career in poor communities – this book is a sociological study written after interviewing more than 100 such women of all races.
Read it – it will open your eyes on what matters in life when there’s nothing left anymore!
