People that reach their 90s and further didn’t have an easy life, at least not the ones I’ve met in my medical practice. Nor are they naively optimistic – if you spend some time with them, most of them experience the sour depression of involution. They are aware of their times past, of their lost friends and family relatives, of their frailty. Yet they constantly amaze me of being alive after so much suffering. They’ve been through wars. They lost their lifetime partners – or worse yet, they are at an age where this is a possibility any day they wake up. They may have mourned their young children – some of them even survive their adult children. They endured prison, famine, poverty, sometimes cancer and yet they are still here among us.
What makes them go on? I can’t stop from asking myself this as they describe their sorrows and aches.
As I was attending a geriatrics course, one psychiatrist told the audience that “the number of one’s hobbies is a person’s real fortune” when it dawned on me how come some people are able to move past the dreaded today for a better tomorrow.
Here is why:
– a huge number of hobbies reflects an inner curiosity drive and this correlates with optimism and the ability to solve problems
-as our abilities decrease, starting from a large number of hobbies allows one to keep having a good life – if you enjoyed running and chess during your youth, you will still enjoy chess in your 90s
–hobbies are an excuse for getting out of our own shells – they are a great conversation starter and this gets even more important as we age and lose our childhood friends – bonding with others is so much easier when you share a common hobby
–without the pressure to make money from such activities, one can develop a field in unimagined ways (that’s how Facebook, Google, Craigslist and many other companies/social phenomena got their start – the money came much later)
-many hobbies allow us to get entertained for the cheap and this is so important for the quality of life during our final years
-hobbies allows us to take a break from the terror of aging and death and to do or create something for its own sake
– a life full of hobbies makes life’s transitions a lot smoother – people can overcome the empty nest syndrome or the early retirement days if they already have an identity outside their children and daily job
Many people I know have a disdain for hobbies when they could be the key to survival in bad times. There is something gratifying in being able to devote time for an activity without getting paid – it is something we forgot on our work-buy-consume treadmill.
Forget about ROI. What are the hobbies that help you see the light at the end of the tunnel?
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And games are not only for children. In fact, we need to re-learn what it is to see the world with the eyes of a child, with respect to seeing meaning and fun in life from mere experience and play. Most of us seem to lose this ability with maturity, after we enter the dating and family life. Growing up is a trap 🙂
It is a trap! There is a saying I read somewhere on the Internet that most people die at 25 years old and they are only buried at 75 years old. I want to be the minority here 🙂 Starting this year I’m relearning the courage to try things and be creative. I guess medical school stifled that a little bit too much.
It is never too late. One of the best books I’ve read ( and plan to re-read) is “Softwired” by M. Merzenich ( renowned neuroscientist). You may find it a valuable companion in your journey
Thanks for the recommendation! It’s now on my to-read list 🙂